If anyone cares, The 20 Questions Challenge may still be found here: [link]

So today is my seventeenth birthday. I must remember to change my profile on... all the sites I'm on.
That may take a while.

I don't know where the last year went, but it certainly didn't prove to be productive. Although, I do think this year has helped teach me to be much more confident, and to like myself alot more than I used to. I don't feel particularly older or anything... I guess I still feel like a kid. It all seems so fast, you know. One minute you're just standing there watching the waves and the next... you're being washed away by the tide.

It would seem now that I am older I would be more mature, but in truth, I can't say anything I've wanted to do or pictured myself doing as an older person has actually happened. I don't have a job, I don't have much of a school life right now, and I certainly don't have friends or a social life to speak of.

But you know what? I'm happy. Not about what I don't have, or what I wish I could be, but who I am now and where I am makes me perfectly content with my life. Sure there are moments where I feel absolutely miserable and just wish I could be like someone else for a little while, but I can't really say that's the case 100% of the time.


I've been thinking about college or uni, and I still haven't decided. It seems like a big step, and I don't really want to go, but maybe I should? I can't say. I'm so indecisive and scared of everything; how am I supposed to be an adult?

So my wish for this year is to just not be so pathetic. I don't want to be scared anymore. I want to be everything I can, and not hold back, and try my best not to care. No, trying not to care is kind of stupid, isn't it? I'll care if I want! Fuck 'em.

I'm going to believe in myself and learn. Give chances, take showers (not that I didn't do this before, but they'll be extra long ones with fancy soap), and just basically LIVE.

I know this may seem strange, but I've always felt a bit like if I didn't really LIVE, I wouldn't have die? I don't know how that makes sense, but there's always that nagging fear of dropping off the face of the earth without a trace. No proof or evidence of my stay here, and I want to make a difference. A huge, colossal, exponential difference. One big stupid fucking KAT WAS HERE across the sidewalk.

Yeah.
That sounds good.